Hebba’s Story
It was deep into Summer and I was ready to finally meet my baby boy. I focused on writing a birth plan with my husband that was exhaustive as we tried to think through the what ifs. But the days passed, and I hit 42 weeks with no signs of labor.
I went to the hospital for a foley bulb. And alas, all that discomfort resulted in a measly half of a centimeter. This was the beginning of many interventions to come.
Back at the hospital, the hours passed, laboring to bring my large, over-cooked baby Eath-side. Suddenly, I was sick. Fever, shaking, vomiting and all. And with that, we started to lose his heart-rate. My hopes of water tub soothing, side-lying pushing and golden hour went to the way-side.
The more blood lost, the further I left myself in the delivery room. Depleted, I could hear staff whispers of an emergency c-section, blood transfusion, infection and all the while baby’s waning heart. Everything I didn’t want was happening. In that moment, I knew he had to come. Hours later, after working through his nuchal chord, he arrived. My carefully crafted birth plan was no where to be found and neither was my baby. Whisked away for irregular breathing, concern of infection, blood draws, and jaundice, I had no more than a moment with him.
I spent days in the hospital after the damage from delivery. I was unable to walk, unable to breastfeed him, unable to manage the pain. My husband spent those days between my bed-side, wheeling me to the NICU and visiting baby. Eventually, I was able to check-out of the hospital, but baby had to stay a little longer. We had to leave him there. Working through leveling him out, multiple rounds of blood tests and stabilizing his breathing, days later we were able to bring him home.
As time passed, it wasn’t just the procedures and physical therapy that healed me. It was my first experience with doula services. It kept me sane, and was everything all three of us needed - my husband, my baby and myself.
It’s unlikely I’ll have the courage to do this again, but if I do, the only thing I can know for sure if I will have a doula by my side.
